Dear Diary,

I had a dream. This is a rare thing for me. I hardly ever dream. I’m an insomniac with acute narcissism. I obsess over my life so much it just sort of, get’s in the way of my sleeping. I could fix it. I read enough text books on the subject to know exactly what I should do to get over it. It’s not very fun. I’m not going to do it. It would probably fix my eyes too, but bah, I’m not really interested in getting better at this pint. I’m alone, but as long as no one reminds me of how alone that I am, I don’t really get lonely. Still, I decided to and follow this dream, to find this girl, to maybe move on with my life.

I went ahead and walked to the end of my driveway. The dream said to go left. I went right, then I decided to go the other way, only to turn around and walk about a quarter-mile circling around in front of my driveway. In the end, I ended up going left after circling for about five minutes. I followed this to the corner and went the long way around to where I had planned to go anyway. I don’t really know why I felt the need to question which way I took.

I followed the signs in my dream. There were arrows that pointed the way. So every time I saw an arrow, I followed it. In my dream those arrows led to a beautiful woman wearing a bright yellow dress. She was smiling at me, and I was happy and smiling at her too. So I followed the signs. First there were arrows on the road that told me which way to go. Then I saw flashing arrows in the trees as they sway. It all lead me to the point where my dream came true. I was staring right at her, and she was smiling back at me. “Great poster” The woman’s Breasts were obvious. “Thank you Verizon, or maybe it was Samsung. Either way, It was a poster in the window of a cell phone boutique.

(Damn, I put on my sexy underwear for nothing. . .)To be continued. . .

[disclaimer: The inflection and tempo are important to sending the right message. Just because it sounds like it will work in your head doesn’t mean it will work. Relying on the stuff you read may end you up in prison. Just be averaged amazing. If you try to be normal, it sets you apart from the people who try to be amazing. That’s what they mean by be yourself. Short sighted phrasing, but novel idea none the less.THis series also has the potential to be comepletely ficticious or somewhat real.]