Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

[Edit: I’ve received negative comments about what I write, so I’m adding this just in case I am insane. I’ve tried to find something wrong with me. I’ve read self-help books, and I’ve visited licenced clinics. If you have anything in what I write that’s under the surface (because what I write about isn’t the way I actually live my life) then I’d appreciate it. Furthermore, If you intend to take what I write seriously, then pretend it’s a game, and stop when it sucks, and resume when you’re bored. Avoid hurting other people by explaining the “rules”, and have fun as much as you can. Games target specific areas of the brain, allowing you to develop new abilities without losing your old ones. This article is about changing your perspective if you’re stuck and unhappy. If someone could publish something conventional, then it would be the greatest thing ever written. It’s the strange things that add just a little twist to life, giving you that extra edge. It’s written in a way that doesn’t push straight forward into your understanding, but be careful.]

You’re the kind of person I’ve been looking for. You match what I want to change. Or at least, you’re the kind of person that I’d like to change the world for. Maybe we should sit down and talk, but I doubt that you would sit with me. In high school, I was that creepy kid that really thought he knew everything. Because I never said anything or built any strong relationships, the moment I said anything I was thinking, It freaked people out. I was in my own little world and I was Ok with that.

The Beauty In the things you think

Your thoughts are always going to be a lot more vital to your existence than anyone else’s no matter how intelligent theirs may be, or how strange or disturbed yours seem. You think. That’s all there is too it, but the things that you think take on different meaning based on how much you resonate with your surroundings and to what degree that is important to you.

By carrying more about the way things appear in your head you reduce dissonance with your surrounding and you know more, you create more, and above all else your thoughts are more brilliant. The beauty that your thoughts have compared to other people’s is your thoughts have the benefit of feel good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These let you know what works for you. If you’re frustrated it means you have learned to act a certain way and the things you do to have fun are not just to have fun. You have to have them or people look at your strangely, so you can’t let go of your tension and your frustration. What you are missing is that we consider certain things to be essential to helping us alleviate tension, and the generation before us (the people who our movies are based on, the people we saw in movies made by people from a generation or two before us that we are now turning into because movies set the precedent for who we want to be) had similar values. The difference that is essential to finding the things that make you free is your relaxation is social capital; it makes you fit in to a group. The generation before used it in the same way, but the things they pursued took priority over fitting in.

I went to a school where everybody sorta fit in with everybody. I say sort of because they didn’t really know too much about each other. No one had any real hopes or dreams of their own. There was nothing that they thought of just for the hell of it that they worked for. They were all in middle school when they decided to be something. They all went to fancy schools on scholarships. One guy i knew got $25,000 to study art. Sure, he was happy to study art, and he was passionate about it and didn’t care what people thought of his art. He made this interesting graffiti art. I could never understand it, but because he was at the forefront of something new, people were willing to finance him. The other people around me including myself were all good at doing the things that people had already done. They went to social events, they did drugs, they where in almost every club, society, or committee and played multiple sports and still found time to get A’s (most of them through methods that went against the thing we signed that said we wouldn’t cheat. Everybody did it at least a little)

Now that phase is over and we are working on realizing our lives are bigger than that, but still going off our old traditions to try to fill the idea of who we are supposed to be but in a new social environment. That makes it virtually impossible to be happy the way we think we should. It’s not the eighties or the nineties any more and because of that, we have inventions and technologies and problems that didn’t exist back then. We have to come to our own realizations to be happy. No matter what novel ideas seem to make us feel better, unless we’re striving to the ones we come up with ourselves, it’s really hard to break free.

Breaking Free and the Steps Toward Forward thinking

Instead of worrying about what people think, where you stand on the totem pole, or if people care about you at all. Assume that the world is the worst place to ever live in, that everyone’s out to kill you the moment you walk out the door. Assume that everything you eat is poisoned unless you check it yourself and to some extent, every processed thing has some potential to being lethal. Assume that you’re going to be stuck at the same boring job doing the same boring thing for the rest of your life until you’re fired because the company doesn’t need you anymore because the economy is growing, or most likely in this cynicysmic perspective, the economy has reached an all time low and the world’s starting to end.

Reading that you must have noticed that you didn’t exactly believe what I was saying, and if you did, you have some serious trust issues that require the aid of licenced psychiatrist, because people are built to be naturally optimistic unless everything is going wrong. If “Everything IS Going Wrong!” and i mean all the time, then this is a warning sign that maybe someone should help you. Nothing could get any worse than you already think it is by getting some help.

Medical disclaimer aside, if there is some optimism, any at all, you’re fine. If you’re really really afraid, but there is still some optimism somewhere, then you’re just a product of the news and whatever fear mongering profiteering corporate design you fit into. It’s all true, but it’s also misleading. The fear gets you to pay attention. Go ahead and watch, but when you get tired of buying such mind numbing heart breaking crap, and you have the sudden realization that you can change it, then it’s time for the first step

The First Step

I like to see a better world, and I also like to see it make sense, but that does nothing for clearing up the noise in my head. I can’t sleep a lot of times because my thoughts are incoherent. There is no purpose to them so there is no end, and from that I am unable to transition to sleep.

The noise will always be there if you don’t put it out in the open and organize it. Blogging helps, but it doesn’t matter if people read it or not. It doesn’t even have to be good. It just has to be randomly expressive.

The girl sat down in a chair. Bam!!!!!!! window shattering. A bear breaks through the wall and attacks tha little girl.

I think to myself “OH NO! little girl needs to be ok”, so i go ahead and change the story.

The little girl becomes a dinosaur and eats the bear, but i don’t want the bear to die either. I turn the bear in a rock. “There. now the t-rex only has indigestion. I can accept that.”

It doesn’t really have to make sense. Just excercise your right to control everything. It’s like dreaming while you’re awake.  It’s the first step to gaining mastery over something. In any field if you can imagine anything, then you’re on your way to making it real.

For example, look at architecture. If you can think of giant castles floating in the sky and then imagine what they’re made out of draw them up and the start adding things like “The Princess Goes Here!” or “This skyscraper needs a moat.” You’re on your way to being a great architect.

Or you could do Physics. conceive of time travel, think of throwing a baseball really really fast. Or you could do something with rockets. Or you could play with bulldozers or rocks or animals. It doesn’t have to make sense. Just imagine things and change them to make you feel better. You can stop when you feel better.

This was supposed to be our childhood, but the fact that we needed to decide what we were going to be before we got to high school sorta forced reality on us. We were looked down on for having these creative ideas, and no one ever looked at what we designed and said we have potential to be something like an artist or a city planner or an entrepreneur. We would be able to grow into that but still remain creative and free. Instead of forcing us to take classes at an early age to sharpen our talents, it would have been more valuable to let us mess around with whatever we wanted. Eventually reality sets in. It feels better to create something that other people can use to create. And that is where the second step comes to play.

The Second Step

By creating anything everything that makes us feel better, eventually we decide on certain motifs that we want to carry within our work and we decide on things that we want to share with other people. We decide who we are based on the things that we notice are similar in other people and we become more and more like those people. We become more and more of a character rather than some random assortment of traits we find in step one.  After getting inspired, and after assuming a nature, you can then create. If you do it right, you should be free. If you do it right, you’ll be as creative yet practical as every other certifiable genius to come before you. I like think like Di Vinci, but you could study the works of Einstein or Freud. You could Paint, You could Sell stocks, You could go into demolitions or politics (not there is any difference, ha).  If you don’t worry about reality, and stick to your whims, your whims will start to embody more and more reality as you start to pay attention.

The very driving force behind step two is step one. Add a little adventure and things that you notice in the world around you that appears in your fantasies and your little whims and your crazy stories, then your stories start to take on amazingly accurate shapes. You would be designing and doing things that function directly with your environment, not just the theory that you learned at some first second or third rate college, high school or adult education class. You would be leading your field, making the big bucks, instead of just sitting mindlessly trying to figure out how to be happy and make your “Desires” come true. But your desires don’t exist if you can’t get through stage one. Just sit and be wild and random. When you look out and see the patterns appear in reality and you start to adopt them, then you are at stage two going on three. Stage two is sort of like a transition. You’re not really ready to consider yourself out of stage one,  but you’re not really ready for anything else.

Boss Battle!!! (the final level!)

Now that you start to adopt more reality, you are ready for grown up things. You can study science. Instead of just listening to a lecture, you get to know first hand that something is true or not, and you’ll have memory of the history and the why without having to sit locked away at a desk reading a book making flash cards and trying to fit all that in while you make enough to pay for the nearly useless, definitely over-priced education and still afford other things like food and an apartment and something nice every once and a while.

You probably didn’t do the reading attuned to your progress, so you’re probably reading this thinking, “How am I going to be happy. It sounds good, but will it work for me?” It may be a small subconscious thought, but it’s there. 

Stage three is really just doing the things you’re doing now but with a certain memory as created through you living you life instead of studying other people’s lives and trying to recreate theirs (because actually doing this is expensive and schools can’t afford it, nor is there enough time to teach people everything through conducting experiments, and people rarely ever get this now anyway, but it’s the ideal, so I thought I’d address that it’s just redundant) .

Since this is a boss battle, You should take a look at the walkthrough for the game.

Boss Stage: Your Preconception

It starts off by you getting all enthusiastic about this new program. Your Preconception lets you think that you are going to make a real change. You don’t change. Game over man. You’re just back to this same old problem. The really sad part is some real good advice now seems useless because you didn’t try to enjoy yourself first.

Realize that by going to school, going to work, doing things that are unpleasant without identifying the lifestyle you’d like to transition to and the steps that happen in between so you don’t freak out along the way and just shut down, and shut out similar advice is holding you back. You can always go back to college. You can always make your life better by sharing yourself in the right way with the right people, but it’s not going to happen with you pursuing things that you think are right.

Remember the thing I did at the beginning? Assume that a fantasy is real. Assume that If you don’t go to college now, you’ll never go back for certain because of some reason like they won’t let you back in or you don’t find a reason get your education like you reach the career ceiling and you need to further your education. Assume that you never move up in life because you didn’t go to college now like everyone else did. Assume that you work at McDonald’s your entire life, or assume that McDonald’s won’t even hire you because you never learned spanish, or chinese or arabic or whatever language they need in the future, and then you become homeless for the rest of you life, you never make any friends, you die and no one even knows what happened to you.

You could just keep going with that. I’ve had fun make up these ridiculous worst case scenarios. The point is, People are more forgiving than we consider. Just because your life wasn’t perfect from the beginning and you didn’t know how enjoy the prestige or the title (something that the people you’re subconsciously comparing yourself to will one day realize they never care about) doesn’t mean you can’t be the underdog story. No one knows how inappropriate it would feel to become rich over night or to suddenly have all these friends and a great job and mansion, and a private jet.

Even writing those things now, I realize i had an easier time imagining myself living the terrible life. I can’t picture myself enjoying these things because I expect that I’m somewhere in the middle. We tend to aim just a little bit higher than where we’re actually headed. I ‘d say that I’m going to find a good job, get a stable career and retire after a long life with a woman who I love. More accurately at the current rate I’m going, I’m going to be homeless, unemployed with no formal education collecting bottles and begging for change the rest of my life. It’s more pleasant to think of the better scenario, but it’s also fun to think of the things that other people wouldn’t expect, not having to hope it would happen and not really partial on the outcome because it’s more of the same and we can deal with that.

I’ve written an entire essay. Usually I write only five hundred words. Now I’ve written nearly 3000 words. Everything in here is important, but just exploring your mind, randomizing your thoughts to create dreams while your asleep out of your subconscious and then looking for them in reality is the biggest take away. Do that and You’ll be happy. Be a kid again. That’s what I hope you get out of this.

There is a little more to say, but I’ll save that for another post. It will be useful to know the different kinds of thoughts people have. You can then figure out how to work with them. There are four stages of thought that cause tension between people. Anything past that and reality has very little turmoil, but I’ll save those for a rainy day. As you’ll get older you’ll notice the different kind of dreams you have create these categories. It won’t be long before I decide to post them, but just in case, live your life and enjoy it.