I’m a typical taurus. I like to eat, and I like to eat. There is this restaurant that I love to go to. I sit in the same seat when I can, and order the same meal, the biggest most amazing thing on the menu (another taurus thing, we relish decadence).

So I’m sitting in my usual seat, and my usual waiter didn’t greet me like he usually does. I thought it was odd, that I didn’t have my burger within a few minutes of sitting down. They know me, they know what I like, they usually have it waiting. Craig probably does it for the extra tip I give him for doing it, but I’m looking around and he’s nowhere to be found.

after a few minutes a new girl I’ve never seen before comes up and gives me the speech they give to new customers. Her name is Alice. She’s nice. Kinda short for my taste, but she’s hot. Now what was a hot girl doing serving me food? I know it’s her job and all, but it’s Craig’s job too!

I pick up my menu so i can avoid direct eye contact, and looking down at my menu, I saw in a smooth administrative voice, “Where’s Craig.”

“Who?” She looks at me like I’m off the deep end. (I probably am. I’ve looked at the pictures scientists have studied on artists exposed to LSD, and I think in very similar patterns.

“The guy that usually serves this section.”
“Oh, He quit.”

I was outraged but kept my composure.
“Fine, my usual order is the ridiculously big cheeseburger that probably will give me heart attacks if I keep eating them at this rate. You know the one I’m talking about?”

“Yes sir I do.”

Long story short, we’re getting lunch together on thursday. How did I pull that off? Check back tomorrow for the whole seduction.

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